Are You a Misfit?

Click on the image to get a larger view

Neil Gaiman: Misfit Man of the Hour

When it comes to awesome Misfits, Neil Gaiman tops the list. How many of us can say we have dabbled in books, comics, film, and theater? What makes Gaiman particularly special, though, is not his laundry list of accomplishments, but rather the style in which he operates. Gaiman truly immerses himself in his work- both mentally and physically. When writing Stardust, for example, Gaiman decided he wanted to create a good old-fashioned fantasy book and set out to create the whole thing by hand. When Stardust's illustrator Charles VessGaiman's handwritten chapters, the author resorted to recording his readings and sending them on to be listened to. That kind of commitment to form is impressive indeed.

It is easy to tell from his work that Neil Gaiman is a Misfit. His characters don't mesh in with mainstream society. Many people are familiar with Coraline, for example, due to the movie adaptation's recent release, and anyone could tell you she is not your everyday little girl.

Though his characters, one can get a glimpse of the fascinating world of Misfits. Gaiman's characters reveal that Misfits are not obtuse, unresponsive recluses, but rather open minded adventurers who go off the beaten track in search of something better- or just something different. Gaiman frequently ties alternate realities into his stories, giving his protagonists access to unseen worlds- ranging from blossoming and ancient communities in the London underground to the tumultuous community of old and new Gods unnoticed by mortals. In effect, Gaiman's visions of other worlds reflect Misfits' ability to see things differently. Like Gaiman, we can think outside the box, and this opens doors to worlds we could never imagine otherwise.

If there is one thing Misfits can learn from Gaiman's career, it is that they are not alone. Gaiman's widespread success reflects the vast number of individuals out there who identify with the stories' unclassifiable characters. As the author's popularity continues so spread, we can only expect to see even more Misfits in the world as conformists reading stories like Interworld and Neverwhere find life off the beaten path far more exciting and desirable.

Gaiman's versatility is astounding. His children's books are charming (if a little creepy sometimes), his comics are vibrant and fascinating, his television and movie forays are exciting and fresh, and his novels never cease to excite the imagination. With the release of his newest book, Blueberry Girl, we can only expect a whole new generation of Gaiman fans- and hopefully Misfits too- to join the fun.

Miss Misfit: Advice for The Unique

Miss Misfit,
Nobody gets me. It sucks. Discuss.
-Misunderstood

Dear Misunderstood,
Thank goodness nobody understands you! What fun would you be if you were a predictable bore? I say you're looking at things all wrong. Stop using your individuality to wall yourself and start sharing your unique intellect with those who will find it amusing. It may turn out well and it may not. At any rate, it's a hell of a lot better than just sitting around all day.
-Miss Misfit
Hello Miss Misfit,
I love to dress like a Power Ranger, but never seem to find the right occasion to wear my costume. Is it OK for me to wear it to anime conventions?
Signed,
-Red Ranger

Dear Red Ranger,
Cosplayers face many modern limitations, especially in America, where people haven't yet caught on to the awesomeness that is costume wearing. This leaves us with only three socially-acceptable options when it comes to cosplaying: costume parties, Halloween-related events, and conventions. As costume parties are few and far between and Halloween only comes but once a year, conventions are often one's only choice. Though this is the case, however, it is not therefore appropriate to wear any old costume to any old convention. Star Trek costumes, at an anime convention, are somewhat out of place, as are Hogwarts uniforms, though you are likely to see both at any major anime fan gathering. Unfortunately, when this is done, one ends up looking desprate. To avoid the faux pas, stick to this general rule of thumb: if your character does not share vocabularity with 90% of the other characters at the convention, you're out. Because the Red Ranger is fluent in Japanese, you're golden at anime conventions. Just don't expand beyond your bounds- the Red Ranger doesn't speak Klingon.
-Miss Misfit


Miss Misfit,
I collect offensive t-shirts, and love to wear them, but whenever I go to school, they send me home to change. It's kind of frustrating. I mean, I'm missing a lot of class. It's wrong for me to compromise my ideals, though, right? I mean... WTF?
-Obscene in Omaha

Dear Obscene,
Not to worry! You can wear your offensive t-shirts and still go to class. Just purchase shirts with messages in other languages. If your teachers wisen up, switch to different alphabets. Not only will your broaden your collection, you will learn some new languages as well!
-Miss Misfit

Cloud Living: How Neurotic Ducklings Become Eccentric Swans

It's a hot, rainy night in Kowloon. Down a packed side street, up two flights of stairs, and tucked into a small Indian restaurant sits a group of international businessmen. Outside, the streets are bustling, the air is humid, and a thin mist of rain falls on droves of people flowing past the glowing, fluorescent shops and restaurants. The men are thousands of miles from home, living out of small suitcases, hopping from country to country, and working in a constantly fluctuating environment, yet around this table, they are perfectly at home. They live unbound from the typical restraints tying most individuals to static houses, towns, regions, and countries. Their lifestyles make them Misfits by default- unable to belong to just one culture or society and too mobile and dynamic to merit classification. Despite this, their lives are full of comfort and connectedness. Though all hail from different countries and backgrounds, these men enjoy a wonderful sense of camaraderie and ease. With friends always at hand and a relative sense of home, they lie at the forefront of a new way of living- one that frees the body from boundaries and the mind from monotony.

This particular group is part of an assemblage of odd fellows calling themselves the Curry Club. As international businessmen in the same industry, they see each other in meetings and trade shows all around the world. Wherever they go, they meet for curry and drinks. It's like one of the members says: "If there are any two things you can expect to find in any city in the world, it'll be a good Indian restaurant and an Irish pub." The Curry Club members are just a small sample of many highly innovative individuals whose creature comforts are relative. Now more than ever, people are adpoting a cloud living lifestyle- enjoying high mobility and success.

Cloud Living Meets the Misfit

Thousands of people every year are adopting this new way of life. Like cloud computing which frees individuals from relying on specific pieces of hardware, cloud living allows people to unhinge themselves from specific locations, social groups, and lifestyles. Interestingly, doing so allows Misfits to leverage their eccentricities and turn personal oddities into assets.

How does cloud living enable Misfits? It gives them the resources to convert a personality that inherently isolates them from the world into one that connects them to everything. Imagine, for example, a woman named Kelcy. Kelcy is a Misfit in rural California with an intense love of popsicles. In her current state, she's widely misunderstood as a woman with her head in the clouds and nothing much to do aside from buying a small house outside of down and waitressing at a local burger joint. Day in and day out, she fantasizes about new popsicle inventions, but her dreams amount to nothing and she finds herself socially isolated and bored with the world. While she would like to do more with her life, she has bills to pay, family ties, and no time to think about changing her life. Right now, Kelcy is bound to the ground. What she needs to do is try out cloud living and see what happens.

There are five major characteristics of the cloud living lifestyle: autonomy, flexibility, simplicity, comfort with technology, and entrepreneurship. If Kelcy were to adopt these aspects, she would find it much easier to jump on the cloud living bandwagon and spice up her life.

Autonomy
Cloud living requires self-reliance. Attachment is all about dependence, and that just brings itinerant mentalities to a screeching halt. What Kelcy needs to do is gain some independence. This does not entail severing ties with friends and family; it simply involves looking inward for support. As soon as Kelcy realizes she can get by on her own, she has enabled herself to truly own her destiny.

Simplicity
It would be difficult to live a flexible, creative life if one were bogged down with complicated obligations, an excessive volume of possessions, and a messy life plans. Kelcy should consider streamlining her life. She might auction off her porcelain figurine collection on Ebay, for example. That would amount to one less thing to clean, care for, and feel attached to, which would free up her time and cognitive capacity for more interesting endeavors.

Flexibility
One great perk of cloud living is its accompanying flexibility. Independent, streamlined individuals are well equipped to go with the flow- that is, if they are willing to. Kelcy needs to open her mind to change before any positive developments can take place. She might, for example, consider relocating to a new town, or changing careers. With a more receptive outlook, Kelcy will realize her life is not a dead-end road at all.

Technology
A major enabler of cloud living is technology. It connects us to the world, clears the way for countless opportunities, and allows us to feel at home anywhere we can find an internet connection. With the right tools and a bit of know-how, Kelcy can leave her hometown without leaving her loved ones; they are, after all, only a Skype, IM, email, or phone call away. This makes changing locations or careers half the formidable task it would otherwise be. Furthermore, Kelcy will find she has all the information she needs to get a move on in life, and she can even discover like-minded popsicle lovers who understand her unusual passion. Finally, she will feel included somewhere, and can cast off her castoff status.

Entrepreneurship
Finally, cloud living embraces an entrepreneurial spirit, which enables individuals to chase after what they love most and make a profit while they are at it. Kelcy, for example, can leverage her love of all things popsicle by opening a hip new popsicle joint in the city, or getting a job as a major popsicle exporter before starting her own popsicle manufacturing firm. Her possibilities are boundless so long as she has the heart to pursue them.

Simply put, with a couple of paradigm shifts, Kelcy can change the final destination of her life's path from nowhere to anywhere she wants. Cloud Living simply involves converting the negative aspects of being a Misfit into positive ones. After all, history's famous eccentrics are only weirdos who leveraged their neuroses.

Taking The World By Storm

Cloud living is drastically changing the Misfit's role in society. Thanks to this general trend, the isolated, lonely specialists, enthusiasts, intellectuals, nerds, geeks, otaku, and eccentrics have attained leverage in modern society. Their increasing levels of autonomy and flexibility allow them to step out from their pigeonholes while their use of technology allows them to connect with like-minded individuals and share their unique skills and viewpoints and their tenacity and entrepreneurship allow them to leverage their abilities and capitalize on them. No longer are the different and unique sidelined to mainstream society, in fact, cloud living has allowed them to instead dictate society's new trends and development.

Take the anime and manga-loving otaku for example. Once segregated from society and left alone with their books, figurines, and television box sets, they are now walking tall amongst mainstream society- and winning new converts right and left. Thanks to key websites, forums, and the right amount of ingenuity, anime-lovers have made specialized communities and conventions commonplace, and are even influencing the mainstream. Look at the manga aisles of major book stores for example- or check out today's popular cartoons. While American styles influenced Japanese illustrations for many years, the tables have started to turn, and cloud living had something to do with it.

Crafters have also utilized the cloud living lifestyle to their advantage. While crafting used to be the bored housewife's busywork, a group of creative, entrepreneurial Misfits have managed to turn it into a hip, blossoming industry via sites such as Etsy. Instead of sitting alone and knitting scarves for unthankful nephews and nieces, a cloud-living crafter is likely to be busy with a lucrative onlin business, and may find herself featured in one of many knitting publications- or even on the Martha Stewart Show!

Cloud living, of course, extends to conformists as well. Nothing, after all, can be much more mainstream than the corporate businessman. Nevertheless, cloud living has allowed them to adopt a whole new way of living, and has effectively converted them to Misfits in the process. Take, for example, the Curry Club. While many of its members started out on basic business tracks, they found themselves exposed to a world in which they had to detach from the mainstream just to keep afloat. While a closed-minded bureaucrat would never make it in the modern international business world, a tech-savvy adventurer will thrive, and the dynamic environment has unleashed a new wave of evolution amongst today's professionals.

With cloud living, every individual has a shot at being innovative, unique, and in control of his destiny. Is there comfort in hunkering down and falling into a comfortable, familiar pattern? Absolutely. But why settle for isolation and obscurity when you can take those eccentricities and build something beautiful?

The Awkward Turtle

If there's one thing a Misfit knows, it's an awkward moment. We Misfits think differently, that's all, and sometimes that leads to misunderstanding, unintended associations, differing opinions, and uncomfortable conversation gaps. To diffuse unpleasant feelings generated in awkward moments, simply utilize the Awkward Turtle gesture as illustrated below in this helpful video.

The Awkward Turtle is a well-accepted gesture that is referenced in Urbandictionary.com, documented amongst multiple permutations on YouTube, and given a definition in the "Types of Gestures" entry of Wikipedia:

"The Awkward Turtle is a gesture made after something awkward just happened, or when there is an awkward silence. To perform an awkward turtle there are three steps to take. First, place your hands on top of each other with both palms facing down and the fingers pointing forward. Next, move thumbs out and away from the hands. Finally, rotate the thumbs forward in a circular motion. The only catch is that in American Sign Language this gesture means sea turtle, not awkward turtle."

The Awkward Turtle gesture and its many relatives do wonders in alleviating strain in social situations, generating some laughs, and allowing Misfits to maintain their quirky, unique identities without being completely unbearable to make small talk with. Go ahead- take this gesture for a couple practice runs; finally you can rest assured that, come an awkward moment, you shall be prepared.

Misfit Getaways: The Fir Tree Cottage

In an age where it is increasingly impossible to draw distinctions between work and home,vacations have become exceedingly necessary. For Misfits, this is even more the case, as crazy schedules and long work days kill creativity.

More than anything, Misfits need to rest somewhere away from it all- away from people, away from distractions, away from the media, and away from modern civilization. That said, nobody has time to travel for hours to get to the middle of nowhere. This is why local tiny inns, condos, and cottages are the way to go. Too low on time to get away now? Take a little minibreak with us as we tour the Fir Tree Cottage in Inverness, California. Let it inspire you to find a Misfit-worthy vacation destination of your own.
Perched like a tree house on a steep slope, the cottage overlooks a charming garden through rustic, wood-framed windows.
The kitchen, complete with a collection pots, pans, utensils, tea pots, a charming vintage stove, and even an espresso machine, will provide everything a foodie needs for recreational cooking. Visitors can opt to have the fridge stocked with local, organic ingredients before they arrive, though it is great fun to run to the local markets and forage for one's self.
The cottage interior is eclectic and unique. With the wide variety the gorgeous beds, comfortable couches, and fascinating fixtures, it's impossible to fall in love with just one feature.
The surrounding area, which includes Point Reyes National Park, is any photographer's dream, as well as a hiker's paradise.

Cupcakes

Food can be an awkward subject for some misfits- especially those who don't like eating in groups / have phobias of eating alone / only eat white food / don't eat meat / eat no processed foods / eat only processed foods / only eat in / only eat out. Nevertheless, there is one food that everyone can love, if not as nourishment, then at least as an art form. This food- nay, this culinary wonder- is the cupcake.

While some say the cupcake craze is on its last legs, the movement's potential is just beginning to grow amongst Misfit communities as cult status settles in. What makes cupcakes Misfit-worthy is their versatility. Cupcakes can be crocheted, painted, created as some form of jewelry, or simply baked and eaten as a bona fide confectionery treat. The permutations of their appearance in all these forms are limitless. One can make cute cupcakes, messy cupcakes, fondant-decorated cupcakes, themed cupcakes, or anything else imaginable. Those who don't like sweets can make savory cupcakes. Those who don't like billowy frosting can dip their cupcakes in melted ganaches or other smooth finishings. Those who don't like cupcakes at all can bake a batch and have a ball pegging complete strangers with them (throwing a cupcake icing-first at a stationary or moving object is one of the most satisfying activities imaginable).

Furthermore, cupcakes are well-suited to independently-minded Misfits as they are self-contained. Effectively, they represent the Misfit Way, as while they are part of a greater whole, they stand alone in a complete state. Such could not be said of traditional cakes, for once parts are separated from the whole, they become demoted to "pieces" of cake. The noble cupcake, on the other hand, stands uncompromised in its independent state- just as true Misfit does. Give this fabulous food form a try, if you haven't already. You shall be glad you did!

Misfit Romance (For Valentine's Day. Duh)

It is V-Day. A short story is in order. First, some musical accompaniment:

Alright. Here we go.

On weekday afternoons at 4:15, Susan Moretto's life transformed. At this precise time, Monday through Friday, Susan took her government-mandated 15-minute break and tiptoed to the emergency exit stairwell, where in a great cathartic release, she would sing. From her strategic location on the fifth floor, Susan enjoyed excellent acoustics, as the empty stairwell acted like a gigantic echoing microphone. Susan sang songs about love, loss, adventure, death, destiny... pretty much anything there was to sing about. Susan's singing would continue unbroken for 15 minutes, at the end of which Susan would abruptly stop, step out of the stairwell, and return to her desk.

None of Susan's co-workers at the accounting firm where she worked were aware of her strange habit. They assumed she took the stairs down to the first-floor coffee shop in defiance of the sedentary accounting lifestyle. Had someone told them Susan utilized the stairwell for musical outbursts, they would think there was some sort of mix-up, as it would be impossible that their Susan- shy, polite, reserved Susan- would do such a thing. This staircase, as I am sure you can surmise, was quite sound resistant.

There is one exception to this soundproofing, and it applied to a corner office of the ninth floor of the building. The office belonged to a Mr. Jake Messersmith, Vice President of Information Technology for a prominent media company. Through some strange architectural anomaly, Jake had a ventilation duct that was attached to the emergency exit stairwell. Certainly now you can imagine that Jake Messersmith's life also transformed every weekday afternoon at 4:15. Jake actually made special preparations for the event by promptly closing his office door at 4:14, propping his feet up on his desk, and closing his eyes. Like clockwork, the singing would commence, and the music overtook him. For a luxurious 15 minutes every week day, Jake was completely removed from his little corner office and all its obligations. The voice took him to a world where he was free again- breathing each breath with a sense of wonder and beholding the world as the wonderful place he knew it really was.

For both Jake and Susan, these fleeting musical interludes came to be an utter necessity. While they both loved their careers and enjoyed moderate levels of success and independence, their lives lacked real meaning. The hardworking professionals could not seem to find their particular place in the world, and their lives, while bustling and busy, had no purpose. This left each feeling lonely and incomplete. Only these afternoon breaks freed them from this incurable sorrow that undercut their long days at the office. This relief was pure ecstasy.

~~~

One early summer's day, Jake decided to take a risk. On his way to work in the morning, he purchased a bouquet of yellow tulips. Once in the confines of his office, he separated out all of the flowers. To each stem, he affixed a note, which read as follows:

We need to meet
-Jake

At 3:45pm, Jake Messersmith placed a flower in front of every door in the stairwell. Surely, he reasoned, the mysterious stairwell woman would have to come across one of his notes. At 3:56, he returned to his office, sat down at his desk, and waited in a state of excited, nervous anticipation. 19 minutes later, Susan stood up from her desk and strode to the stairwell. Only Dr. Percey Spencer, upon discovering the microwave oven, would understand precisely how Susan felt at this moment. Just as he realized he unwittingly cooked a candy bar in his pocket with the magnetron he was testing, Susan, at this precise moment, realized she had caught someone's attention with her afternoon accounting breaks.

Susan squatted down, eyed the tulip, and ever so carefully, picked it up. Six times, she read the attached note. Then she walked to the stairwell's rail and looked over the edge. Below her, at every door, lay an identical tulip with an attached note. Horrified that someone might come across these unique transmissions and return to the stairwell in search of their intended recipient, Susan resolved herself to pick up every last flower. "Must destroy the evidence..." she thought.

In a state of near-panic, Susan scrambled up to the top of the staircase, then ran, rolled, and fell down from landing to landing, snatching up tulips as she proceeded. Jake, through his ninth floor corner office air duct, heard evidence of this- or at least an odd "FOOMF FOOMF FOOMF" (the sound of Susan's diminutive frame falling from step to step) sound that would not be expected from someone who has just been gifted flowers. Concerned by this unforeseen development, and also curious about the sound, Jake dashed to the stairway and opened the door just as Susan cleared the landing two floors below.

Susan heard the echo of a door opening as Jake entered, and nearly blew a fuse as she doubled her speed of controlled falling and flower collection. Sensing Susan's downward movement, and seeing that the flower at his doorway had been taken, Jake began to make his way down the steps, first at a normal pace, then faster. Before long, Susan and Jake were rushing down the stairs at breakneck speed, not daring to say anything, but wanting more than anything to hide and seek, respectively.

Susan, much to Jake's disappointment, made it to the bottom floor unseen and burst out through the fire exit directly to the street, causing the building's fire alarm to go off. Not wanting to be blamed for the offense, Jake vacated the building through the lobby. Susan spent the remaining seven minutes of her brake running to her apartment (which was only two blocks away), carefully but quickly arranging the tulips in a vase in her kitchen, then running back to work. She sat down to her desk just seconds before her computer's clock read 4:30, and her co-workers only assumed that the poor girl's shortness of breath was due to a particularly strong espresso followed by a quicker than usual jaunt up the stairs.

~~~

In the days that followed, Susan did not sing in the emergency exit stairwell. It was not the thought of someone listening to her sing that bothered her; it was the thought that someone had expressed interest in her. Susan would simply not tolerate that- could not tolerate that- because the very thought of being with anyone was excruciating. There was one exception to this cold sentiment of hers: an individual she referred to as "Lobby Man." Susan saw him every morning at the office, holding the lobby door open for the sleep deprived but caffeine-infused employees as they stumbled to work. His gentlemanly conduct coupled with a kindly expression and an indescribably perfect forehead left Susan overwhelmed with affection. No where else in the universe could there be a more perfect creature in her eyes.

Susan made a habit of hanging back every morning and watching him hold the door and smile as people passed into the building. Much as her singing appeared to be a daily escape for the eavesdropping Jake, Lobby Man's kindness was a daily escape for Susan. This man reminded her that there was still gallantry in the world, and also that she was not the only one in the city who felt chipper in the mornings. Seeing him gave her a wonderful rush of hope and joy.

Unlike Jake, however, Susan did not have the courage to reach out to the object of her affection. She could not even pass by him as he held the door open for goodness sake; how on earth could she ever approach him and express her feelings? Susan was quite resigned to the fact that her case was hopeless, but took solace knowing that they did work in the same building and that she could see him every morning (albeit from a safe distance).

Despite her morning pick-me-up of Lobby Man watching, Susan began to feel a strain on her otherwise unadulterated happiness. Without her afternoon singing break, she felt cramped and uninspired. Afternoons became almost insufferable in their unbroken monotony. She found herself counting the minutes until she could go home every evening, but once home, she felt no pleasure in her usual indulgences. Her usual pastimes of cooking, reading, and people watching at the local outdoor cafes seemed to have lost their sparkle.

Jake found himself much in the same condition. Though he was perfectly aware that the mysterious singing meant a lot to him, he had no idea that it meant this much. Life had become dull and uninspiring. It was awful.

Luckily, a sudden twist of fate caused the paths of these miserable people to cross. Jake Messersmith's media company, which regularly ran internal accounting audits, had switched firms after its original hire went bankrupt. Out of convenience, the media company selected Susan's accounting firm as a replacement. This switch to Susan's accounting firm involved a grievous amount of paperwork, and employees from the fifth floor were constantly rushing up to the ninth floor to get signatures and completed forms forms.

Though a marvelous twist of fate, one Thursday morning found Susan working on accounting paperwork for Jake's IT department. After going through several forms, Susan realized that some additional signatures were needed, so she made her way up to the ninth floor and was directed to the corner office. As you might imagine, Susan experienced a terrible shock when she realized that, sitting behind a neatly organized desk, was Lobby Man, a.k.a. Jake Messersmith.

Few ghosts could ever boast to have been as white as poor Susan suddenly turned as she crossed the threshold into Jake's office. Lapsing into crisis autopilot mode, she politely asked him to fill out and sign some forms, attempting, all the while, to not vomit or pass out. As Jake filled out the paper, he could not help but wonder what caused the woman's sickly pallor. Naturally, he began to wonder even more once Susan turned bright red at seeing his completed forms.

The cause of the redness, of course, was Susan's recognition of Jake's signature, which was the very one gracing every note attached to the tulips in the stairway. As Susan's face flushed in what ought to go on record as the world's most intense blush, she realized that the very man she was hopelessly in love with was also quite taken with her.

This knowledge was too much for her. Like an unattended wooden plank on a windy day, Susan's stiff body fell back with a magnificent crash and she lay unconscious on Jake's immaculately clean office floor. As any responsible person would do, Jake called an ambulance and the Susan's petrified, unconscious body was rushed off to the hospital.

Upon regaining consciousness, Susan was informed that she had experienced some sort of terrible shock, and that she should spend the rest of the afternoon resting. Susan thanked the doctors for their advice, left the hospital, and returned to work, where she found Jake's signed papers neatly placed on her desk. A quick glance at the clock down the hall informed her that it was precisely 4:12pm in the afternoon. Despite her weakened state, Susan decided it was time to take action. She stood up, and with a resigned stride, walked to the emergency exit stairway.

It would be hard to describe what thoughts flew through Susan's mind in the minutes leading up to 4:15. Aside from a completely understandable rush of fear at the prospect of confronting Lobby Man for the first time ever, Susan felt something she had never felt before. It was a kind of tingling deep in her gut- or not so much of a tingling, but rather a sensation that one of her organs had been filled with helium and was no longer bound by the law of gravity. It was not unpleasant, but it certainly was not familiar, and this novelty made it absolutely impossible for her to think of something to sing.

At 4:14 and 56 seconds, Susan still had no idea of exactly what she was going to do. She felt as though she stood at the edge of a cliff, about to jump off and feel the rush of weightlessness as she fell into an indiscernible abyss. At 4:14 and 59 seconds, her mind went completely blank. At precisely 4:15, however, her lungs opened, and she began to sing.

I am sure you can imagine Jake's surprise at hearing music pouring through his air duct once again. He was still moderately frazzled from the fainting incident in his office earlier that morning, and this new development caused him to rocket up from his seat in complete shock. Taking advantage of the momentum from this sudden movement, Jake flew from his chair and dashed like a madman in the direction of the emergency exit stairwell.

Susan heard the sound of a door several floors above slam open, and she heard the subsequent shuffle and rush of feet as they began to scramble down the flights of stairs, but she did not stop singing, and she did not retreat. Instead, she sang louder. Her voice echoed through the stairwell, and as the sound waves reverberated off the walls, both she and Jake felt a rush of joy- one that had been absent from both their lives for what seemed like a thousand years.

Barely looking where he was going, Jake flew down the stairs, sliding in his low-traction office loafers on each new landing, and gripping onto the railing to pull himself to the next steps. Four flights later, Jake found himself standing face to face with Mysterious Stairway Woman, whom he now realized was also accountant Susan Moretto. Now it was Jake's turn to turn completely white. Everything clicked. Everything made sense.

Susan's song came to an end, and the two stared at each other in silence. Slowly, Jake cracked a smile, and realizing that everything was ok- that this really was happening- Susan grinned too. With a sweeping gesture, Jake suggested they grab an espresso in the first floor cafe, and Susan heartily agreed, for honestly, there was no way she could top the last song with anything else.

In the first floor cafe, the two skipped the formalities of normal introductory social meetings and lapsed right into a heated discussion over the artistic value of mispronounced song lyrics. Judging from the way they spoke with each other, one would suppose Jake and Susan had been together for years. This might seem odd, as the two had only met that morning, and it was a short meeting what with all the fainting, but really, they had been together for a very long time. Every afternoon at 4:15, despite complete anonymity and physical separation, these two strangers had been more connected than most couples could ever hope to be.

Jake and Susan's song and stairway rendezvous, followed by an espresso break and fascinating conversation, repeated the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Once again, the two were blissfully happy, and this time they could share their bliss with someone else. Finally, Jake and Susan felt complete, for they realized that each was the missing puzzle piece that the other had sought.

While their companies eventually moved and the building received new occupants, Jake and Susan did not part ways, and remain together to this day. All that is left of their stairway meetings, however, are two small tulips, one on the ninth floor and and one on the fifth, drawn into onto the banister with company-issued permanent markers.

Misfit Must-Haves

It's not always easy being an outsider. Actually, it can be very stressful. All that nonconforming, assertion of independence, and creative thinking can really put a strain on Misfits' nerves, and to keep going, they really need some stress relief.

Here are a couple of Misfit Must-Haves when it comes to winding down:

Google Reader
Getting all of your choice blogs to flow into one centralized location is crucial if you want maximum exposure to awesomeness. Be sure to add the Fail Blog, BoingBoing, and the wonderful creations of the Cheezburger Network to your feed. Mmm. Delicious digital awesomeness.

Edamame Keychain
Normal stress balls are so mid nineties. Grab yourself an edamame key chain and pop out realistic plastic soybeans when you need to physically work through some mental turmoil. You'll not only feel better, but impress everyone with your good taste in zipper accessories.

Small Notebook
When in doubt, write, list, or doodle. Venting emotion onto a two dimensional medium is very therapeutic, and can also provide amusing material for future use. Misfits, by design, have interesting thoughts. Why not clear your brain and collect interesting thoughts at the same time?

Unique Sunglasses
Nobody wants to lose their cool, if one must, it is best to do so without others realizing. When you feel the crazed look creep into your eyes, simply slide on some shades and smolder in silence. Behind your vale of tinted coolness, you are free to freak out in privacy, and others will simply assume you are a mysterious hipster.

Recovery Playlist
If some unfortunate turn of events should throw you off track, unhinge you, or otherwise destruct your carefully constructed sense of reality, piece yourself back together by listening to a pre-assembled playlist of songs representing everything you believe in and see as good in the world. You can even pepper the playlist with choice movie quotes from your favorite OSTs (our favorites are from Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill). Yeah, it sounds cheesy and self-help-ish, but simply think of it as a special form of self-customized brainwashing. Very Brave New World. Very awesome.

Misfit Movies: Top Five Favorites

There's nothing quite like the escapism of the movies. Who doesn't want to get away from it all every now and then? In honor of good cinema and all-things Misfit, we have compiled a Top Five list of our favorite Misfit Movies. Don't see your favorite here? Let us know at misfitsmonthly@gmail.com.

1. Amelie
With a protagonist referred to as "the Madonna of the cast-offs," it is clear why Le Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain hits number one on our list. Not only is this movie about a full-out Misfit, it is beautifully directed, with careful attention to color and detail. As an added bonus, the film is accompanied with a beautiful soundtrack by Yann Tiersen. If you haven't seen it, SEE IT. If you have seen it, SEE IT AGAIN.



2. Kamikaze Girls
A fabulous movie about individualism in Japan, Kamikaze Girls takes sweet, funny chick flicks to a whole new level of quirky creativity. If you like Japanese street fashion, culture, or society, you will like this movie.




3. Wordplay
If you prefer your movies to be of the nonfiction type, Wordplay is for you. This fascinating peek into the underworld of crossword puzzle creation and enjoyment is packed with star power and reveals yet one more niche of Misfits sewn into the underlining of popular culture.


4. Ghost World
If being sardonic is your particular pastime, you'll adore this quirky, indie, high school adaptation of the 1990s graphic novel series. It has the perfect mixture of nostalgia, awkwardness, bleak depression, and fantasy.



5. The Star Wars Holiday Special
This rare cinematic fiasco is the perfect pick for a Misfit among Misfits. Only shown once on November 17th, 1978, the special is only available on the black market. While it should be obliterated in the name of decency, who doesn't want to be among the few who can actually boast to having borne witness to such an alarming monstrosity?